tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4007499867824150925.post5716701974959643950..comments2023-10-31T04:08:26.565-08:00Comments on ...sed noli modo.: HealingMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14724269113198950094noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4007499867824150925.post-44155674573417286812014-05-09T07:59:56.042-08:002014-05-09T07:59:56.042-08:00Rosalie and Matt, I lost my first baby at 4 months...Rosalie and Matt, I lost my first baby at 4 months gestation. It was and still is so difficult for me. At the time (35 years ago), no one wanted to acknowledge my grief. All I heard was "You're young, you can have more. Suck it up and get on with life." My sister-in-law had just had a baby and I was told that I was not allowed to be sad around her because it "was her time". THAT was the hardest thing for me. And this is what I truly believe about my baby - that he is in Heaven with God. While I certainly believe in Baptism being our saving grace, Mary has said on many occasion in Medjugore that many nonchristians are in Heaven. And why not? God is merciful and He is not bound by our "laws". The Church gives us laws as a way to make sense out of the evil of this world so that we can please God in all ways that we can. Grieving takes many forms and there is no set way that it occurs. If you read about Dr Kubler-Ross http://www.businessballs.com/elisabeth_kubler_ross_five_stages_of_grief.htm and her stages of grief, you will see this clearly. I studied her writings as a nursing student and then more in depth as a grieving mother. I will tell you this much, every October I grieve. Even 35 years later. At the same time, I know my little Michael is in Heaven with God and I will see him one day and we will both rejoice as I will finally get to hold him in my arms, even though he won't be an infant. In the meantime, I will pray for you and Matt that you will be comforted by our Risen Lord knowing that "nothing is impossible for God".<br />Love,<br />Cindy Hannah (Karen's mom)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4007499867824150925.post-84600756456931647572014-05-06T10:51:46.170-08:002014-05-06T10:51:46.170-08:00Thank you! That has actually been something I'...Thank you! That has actually been something I've been struggling with, feeling like I'm "doing it wrong" and that something must be wrong with me since I'm not as outwardly, visibly sad as other people are... it helps to be reminded that it's not wrong to process Alex's death the way that makes sense to me.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13174645669215137323noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4007499867824150925.post-42512037641849298152014-05-05T14:12:42.903-08:002014-05-05T14:12:42.903-08:00There are no rules for grieving. You can be sad or...There are no rules for grieving. You can be sad or happy or both at once. <br /><br />And you're still in my prayers.The Sojournerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04559244806125834569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4007499867824150925.post-33493010698239523882014-05-03T13:27:49.805-08:002014-05-03T13:27:49.805-08:00Thank you, Kel! It does help a lot to reflect on G...Thank you, Kel! It does help a lot to reflect on God's love and mercy, and how He cared for our children even more than we could.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13174645669215137323noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4007499867824150925.post-8241680510934289932014-05-03T13:24:16.922-08:002014-05-03T13:24:16.922-08:00It's an awful thing to have to think about, bu...It's an awful thing to have to think about, but it's so helpful to hear that I'm not the only one for whom the "we don't know" isn't enough; given that so many women will experience miscarriage at some point, it seems like the Church could do a better job of emphasizing God's Mercy in these cases. It's so hard to be confronted suddenly with miscarriage and the only thing you've ever heard about Church teaching on it is limbo or nothing!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13174645669215137323noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4007499867824150925.post-44476873348468970312014-05-03T09:32:51.895-08:002014-05-03T09:32:51.895-08:00My prayers are with you. As a mom who lost a chil...My prayers are with you. As a mom who lost a child to miscarriage, I rest knowing that God is love and mercy. My child is at peace and is happy and I can trust Him.Kelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06308200235342919307noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4007499867824150925.post-86733517268559079562014-05-03T07:11:08.331-08:002014-05-03T07:11:08.331-08:00That is beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing; ...That is beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing; I definitely teared up when I read it.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13174645669215137323noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4007499867824150925.post-57015168486170151892014-05-02T15:29:22.578-08:002014-05-02T15:29:22.578-08:00Someone just shared this quote with me last week f...Someone just shared this quote with me last week from St. Bernard of Clairvaux and I thought you might appreciate it as much as I did:<br /><br />“Your faith spoke for this child. Baptism for this child was only delayed by time. Your faith suffices. The waters of your womb — were they not the waters of life for this child? Look at your tears. Are they not like the waters of baptism? Do not fear this. God’s ability to love is greater than our fears. Surrender everything to God.”<br /><br />Prayers for you and your family during this tough time. Cammie Dianehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07137080807945525006noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4007499867824150925.post-57853151930316526372014-05-02T07:52:54.701-08:002014-05-02T07:52:54.701-08:00I've usually gone with the "baptism by de...I've usually gone with the "baptism by desire" concept when thinking about babies who die before they are baptized. As you said, we don't know for absolute sure, but I believe and trust in God's mercy, especially with the innocent.<br /><br />We're praying for you all during this time, Rosalie. *hugs*Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10718507085706474315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4007499867824150925.post-74113131817733995542014-05-01T14:19:21.273-08:002014-05-01T14:19:21.273-08:00Thank you so much for your honesty here. I've ...Thank you so much for your honesty here. I've been haunted by the same thought that, when we inevitably face our own miscarriages, the "we don't know what happens, but we leave them to the mercy of God" answer will seem incredibly inadequate. Maybe for some people it's enough..and maybe it should be...but I know I'm not one of them. Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15665973353416862845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4007499867824150925.post-71525679020773344912014-05-01T13:43:57.577-08:002014-05-01T13:43:57.577-08:00Thank you for sharing; and to be honest, I've ...Thank you for sharing; and to be honest, I've been brought up with the same thought. Sure, we can't technically say we know...but yeah, I'm pretty sure that's the case.<br /><br />I actually don't think you've logiced your way around it; I think, if this makes sense, that Christianity (and Catholicism in general) has a unique attitude towards death and the grieving there. I really don't think there's anything odd about the way you reacted. :) Every death is just a parting for the time being.Andy Haugehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11367057078787561828noreply@blogger.com