06 March 2015

Seven Quick Takes

Tonight the menu says we're having falafel with homemade pita and tzatziki, but I forgot to make more yogurt yesterday and it takes at least 12 hours, so that's not happening tonight. Matt and Little Bear both had pasta for lunch, so that's out too. Right now, bean and rice burritos or bean and cheese enchiladas are sounding like a good option.

Meals built around canned beans are so convenient; there's no "oh, I forgot to take the meat out of the freezer and now there's only three hours until supper, it'll never thaw in time..."

The temperature has stayed pleasant (highs in the upper 20s to mid 30s, and slowly but undeniably warming), and is expected to remain so indefinitely—I'm hoping for "into October"—but we've seen a clear difference between the winter cold being over and the winter itself taking its leave: yesterday we got close to three inches of snow, and tomorrow we're supposed to get another four to eight inches, heaviest up in the hills by us. I don't mind the snow, since I don't have to shovel it. :-) And Little Bear is loving it. Matt told him that they could go make snowballs tomorrow, and he got so excited. This has been a fairly low snow year here, so hopefully all of this snow now will be enough to thoroughly soak the ground when it melts, so that we don't have an early start to fire season.

It's frustrating, but even more so it's reassuring to have my chiropractor shake her head and say that I'm having way too much pain and trouble staying 'put together' for only being 25 weeks. Frustrating, because I hate that I'm having so much difficulty getting even the bare minimum done around the house on bad days, let alone never ever being up for trying to do fun or social things. But reassuring, because on the bad days I feel so inadequate: the little voice in the back of my mind tells me that I'm just a wimp, that millions and millions of women throughout history have gone through pregnancy after pregnancy without complaining about the things that I do... that my mom and her friends have so many kids, and they all kept up with all of their families' needs through their pregnancies and I have no excuse for not doing as much when this is only my third pregnancy, only the second to make it this far... There have been so many hard days recently, days when I physically can't walk, and trying to keep up with a busy little boy and the housework and the cooking and everything is just overwhelming, and I feel so, so inadequate compared to all of the other moms I know. So... useless. Having someone who works with pregnant women every day look at me and say, "This isn't normal. It isn't supposed to be like this," I felt like I was given permission, at least for a moment, to acknowledge that this is really hard without feeling guilty for saying so.

Ha, as if it's possible for me to not feel guilty for saying that. I've had so much help: Matt giving Little Bear the wild playtime he wants, putting him to bed, taking over the kitchen on nights when he can tell I just can't manage it; us living so close to my family, being able to bring Little Bear over there to play with my youngest siblings so I can run errands on my own or even just sit down with my feet up for an hour; being able to see a chiropractor every week so that I usually have several consecutive days of doing pretty well. The post office seems to keep pushing back the ETA, but I'm sure the maternity support belt I ordered will eventually show up and hopefully that will be really helpful too. This morning my chiropractor, half laughing, said that she wished she could just use super glue or something to hold me together—we're hoping the support belt will do a decent job of that.

Yesterday was Matt's birthday! We didn't do much out of the ordinary, but we did have a nice evening, and I made him a pan of brownies with chocolate hazelnut buttercream frosting. Mmmm. I think he's asked for a dessert other than cake on his birthday every year since we've been married. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure Little Bear is the only one in our family that I've ever made proper birthday cakes for. Little Bear enjoyed helping Matt open presents, and explained the picture he'd colored in great detail ("A yellow sun, yellow sand, a yellow W, yellow Daddy...")

Not even 25 hours after getting our windshield replaced, a tow truck in the next lane kicked up some loose gravel in our direction as I was driving home from the chiropractor this morning... I can't believe we already have a chip in the glass. Fortunately, the auto glass place said they'd fix any chips we get in the first 12 months for free; I guess I'm going back in on Monday morning. Hopefully the chip doesn't start splitting and become irreparable before then!

Matt is such a wonderful dad and husband. I came out of Little Bear's room so frustrated this evening, unable to keep sitting on the floor or standing propped against the wall while the he rolled back and forth in bed, popping up every time my hand touched the doorknob to demand "Mama stay here!" I really intended to just sprawl on the couch for a few minutes until I could handle being upright again, but Matt went in without me even asking and had Little Bear asleep in less than five minutes. And yesterday, on his birthday no less, when Little Bear decided that it was morning at early o'clock and we really desperately wanted another hour of sleep, Matt got up before I could roll out of bed and put Little Bear back to sleep for me.

Today is the first day of the Catholic Conference 4 Moms! I saw the email this morning at early o'clock — Matt had to be at work by 7:15, and I needed the car, so we all got up early in order to get everyone out the door on time. By the time I got home from dropping him off, I'd completely forgotten, and I just now remembered. If I only have time to listen to one of today's presentations before they disappear tonight, it's going to be Stephanie Wood Weinart on "The Culprits that Steal a Mom's Joy and How to Avoid Them"... I think I need to hear that one right now. I'm hoping to also have time for Celeste Behe's talk: Gathering Your Family Around the Lenten Table. Liturgical living! If you aren't registered yet, you can still get in on the rest of the conference: just sign up here (it's free!) and you'll get the next day's link emailed to you. The conference runs through Monday, and different talks are available each day.

Have a good weekend! For more Quick Takes, stop by This Ain't the Lyceum.

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