Galloping Grasshoppers

My brain is scattered today, so... forearmed is forewarned and all that.

Do grasshoppers suddenly appear in August everywhere, or is that only in Alaska? We go most of the summer without seeing any, and then it's the middle of August and BAM! grasshoppers everywhere. I noticed that the hordes had descended yesterday afternoon, as Little Bear and I were walking up to the university to meet Matt after work. On just one grassy half-mile hill, we saw well more than 50 grasshoppers! They're all about an inch long, but come in every shade of green and brown imaginable, and have subtle differences in their markings. Little Bear, of course, was enthralled by the tiny things moving so quickly around us, and kept trying to lunge out of the backpack to get to them.

Last night as I was showering, Matt and Little Bear came into the bathroom to brush their teeth. Matt looked at the heavy condensation on the mirror and flicked on the fan, saying, "I'm going to turn this on so we don't get all woozy-headed. That's a technical term, Little Bear."

It's getting close on a year now since we've been Outside, and with winter coming on, it can be tempting at times to think about booking a trip somewhere. Hawaii is ridiculously cheap to get to from Alaska... even in February when it's -50 F... "ridiculously cheap" in comparison to flying anywhere else in the US, at least! And yesterday, a flyer came in the mail for Homecoming at our alma mater. Ohio is still warm enough to have grasshoppers in October! What a concept. Fortunately for our bank account, the accompanying wave of nostalgia was countered by the other item in the mailbox; the visa bill. Priorities. Right.

The university has a lovely botanical garden which we haven't visited yet this summer, and since our supper plans are very simple tonight, I'm thinking I'll try to talk Matt into going this evening. We said we'd go for a walk tonight... Why not do it while wandering around admiring all of the flowers and vegetables? When I was little my family went there several times each summer; my parents would be looking for new plants to try in their garden, but the kids were more excited about watching the koi in the elaborate pond, playing in the willow maze designed by some architecture students, and in August, catching grasshoppers. Little Bear would be so excited if we could actually set him down in the grass where they were hopping around!

I'm still trying to get in at least one walk per day, two if I can, while it is summer. Little Bear and I took an early walk this morning before it got too warm; it was only 63 F when we left! This August has been unseasonably hot, though, and today doesn't look like it'll be an exception: we were only out for an hour, and the thermometer climbed almost ten degrees! August is also normally our rainiest month, and I don't think we've gotten more than a couple of half hour cloudbursts so far. It's pretty, but it's sure not helping with the wildfires. More than 1.2 million acres have burned so far this year, and fire officials have our part of the state classed as "extremely high risk" right now because of the unusual extended hot, dry weather. Fortunately there is nothing too close to town, but smoke has been blowing over from some  of the closer fires, making spending time outside fairly unpleasant to downright unhealthy some days. Not every day, thank goodness! On the bad days, I keep Little Bear inside and don't tax our lungs by going for a walk, but thankfully there haven't been too many days like that.

What I Wore Sunday {26}

Joining up as usual with a bevy of beauties over at Fine Linen and Purple this afternoon!

This has been a crazy Sunday --weekend, really-- in the sleep department. Little Bear had an okay night Friday, but we had to wake him up earlier than he wanted to get up, and then he only napped 40 minutes total Saturday. We went to bed early last night and he slept 11 hours, which is more than usual, but he still woke up earlier than usual... which left him tired and cranky halfway through Mass. He was pretty well behaved for being an exhausted, teething toddler, and fell asleep in the car on the way home, but that nap only lasted a half hour; here's hoping he can get a several-hour stretch this afternoon to put us back on schedule!

I didn't catch much of the homily today because I was walking with Little Bear, but I did like the beginning: When we look at life as an adventure, we prepare for what is ahead but are still surprised by each minute of it. I'm not sure what that had to do with the bits of exposition I later caught on Spielberg's Pacific, but maybe Matt can explain later. It was a good thought, nonetheless; as in today's Gospel reading, we're supposed to be preparing for the future, but we never know exactly what or when the things we're preparing for will happen.

The outfit:

Coral blazer: thrifted (Forever 21)

Cream tee: thrifted

Pink paisley skirt: thrifted

Wedge sandals: Fred Meyers

I'm so glad we are starting to get cool mornings again, so that I could try this outfit! I found the skirt and blazer during the same thrift store run, and I really like them together. The blazer is lightly lined, though, so no way was I wearing it in summer temperatures! This morning we woke up to 48 degrees Fahrenheit, though, which was perfect. I'm not usually one for this much pink, but it was just too fun to pass up.

Seven Quick Takes Friday, Vol. 42

Linking up with Jen & Co!

I

I missed last week's Quick Takes with a migraine, and will be missing next week's for a much better reason: we are finally taking our first camping trip as a family! We're planning to spend one night at a lake in the mountains and one night in Denali Park. I am looking forward to it so much!

II

Thirteen months is too young to be throwing tantrums. Isn't it? Little Bear is definitely starting to make a scene when he is displeased, though. He yells when I take the wrong cereal out of the cupboard, when I offer him a bite, when I don't offer him a bite, when I put him in his chair, when I take him out of his chair, when I set him on the floor, when I set him on my lap, when I don't let him play with Daddy's computer cables, when I decline to sing "Rain Rain Go Away" for the seventeenth time in a row... Because he's so little, though, I'm not sure how to teach him that he can't do that. Timeouts aren't effective yet, because he simply doesn't understand.

III

We ordered a couple of things from Cabelas for our upcoming camping trip, and in the box there was a promo code for a company called NakedWines.com. They seem like a legitimate company, and $160 of wine for $60 sounds like a pretty good deal, but there is the little problem of the note on their FAQ page: "Alaska and Hawaii are really far out so they're used to the fact that paying a lot for shipping is the cost of living in wild serenity." Ouch. I mean, yes, we are used to everyone charging an arm and a leg in shipping, but most people aren't that blunt about it... So I don't think we will be using our code, and I'd be happy to let someone else have it!

IV

Hypothetical scenario: You have the opportunity to go to daily Mass today. Your child(ren) should be napping, but since that's not happening, you load up and head out. By the time you are halfway to the church, the traffic is backed up, the child(ren) screaming, and it is obvious that you are going to be late. Do you go anyway, knowing that you need the grace, or do you turn around and go home, reasoning that no one wants to see your screaming offspring at the church anyway?

V

The other weekend at a garage sale, I picked up the first two Mitford novels for fifty cents. They aren't quite my usual genre, but I'd heard them spoken quite highly of, and I'm so glad I have them a try! The best words I can find to describe them are "comfortable," "cozy" and "charming;" they chronicle the everyday adventures of the quiet, rural southern appalachian town of Mitford, experienced by the older Episcopalian rector. I picked up the next six at a used bookstore this week, and a friend passed down her copy of the final book, so I have the whole set to work through during Little Bear's afternoon naps.

VI

Matt came home from work early today -- which never happens, so it scared me half to death when I heard someone opening the front door -- with a great deal of pain in his mid back. He's spent the rest of the day laying down with heat on it, taking ibuprofen every few hours, and would sure appreciate some prayers that it clears up soon!

VII

And... I have nothing. Um, camping food? I'm supposed to be working on a menu for our three-day-two-night adventure; if you have any suggestions for camping meals that don't require a whole lot of preparation or clean-up, I'd love to hear them.

Have a lovely weekend!

Cooling Off

This morning, Little Bear discovered that by turning on the bathroom sink and clamping his hand over the faucet, he could make water squirt everywhere. Cold, cold, icy, frigid water. Oh, child, no! He shrieked with laughter as I scrambled to pull him away from the sink and mop up the mess.

If we'd been outdoors, I wouldn't have begrudged him his fun; it has been hot here, much hotter and sunnier than is usual for August so far, and playing in cold water is pretty much the best way to cool down. (Okay, not including the grocery store's sale on Ben & Jerry's this week, but they are clearly trying lure me away from my diet.)

One of the things I'm most looking forward to about someday having our own house is setting up a sprinkler in the yard on a hot, sunny day for Little Bear to play in. Better yet, having a garden and letting him play with the hose while we water plants. When I was younger, watering was definitely the most coveted of the garden chores: you got to keep yourself cool, and could splash unsuspecting siblings, too!

We don't have any outdoor water to play in at our apartment, but we've come up with some other fun ways to keep cool: Taking walks first thing in the morning with a neighbor lets us get outside and exercise, but be home again before the day warms up. Yesterday, after Matt got home, we took advantage of a rare windy evening to have a picnic at a park, and rode their historic train during a quick cloudburst. Sunday evening always sees us taking a walk to the boat launch about half a mile away, where we watch boaters on the river and Matt teaches Little Bear to throw rocks into the water.

It's hard to imagine as every other day we set a new high temperature record, but winter will be here before we know it. Last year it snowed and stuck the first week of October! I keep trying to remember that whenever I want to moan about the heat: soon enough it will be snowing, and I'll long for another week of this weather.

A Good Wife

The other day, I cleaned the kitchen after breakfast, did the laundry, took out the trash, and fed Little Bear when he was hungry. We made the trek across town to feed my parents' dog and water their garden. When we got home, Little Bear and I played in the living room until he wanted to eat, and he fell asleep on my lap for three and a half hours. And as soon as Matt got home from work, I started apologizing for being such a terrible wife.

A good wife would never let you come home to such a messy house... A good wife would have cleaned the grill and trimmed the grass around the front step that the mower always misses... A good wife would have supper underway and a drink waiting when you get home... A good wife would time the child's naps better... A good wife would do everything perfectly all of the time, and I'm so sorry I'm such a bad wife.

Where does this come from? Matt has never, ever, asked me to do any of those things; never, ever, expressed disappointment, even nonverbally, about the state of the house or my progress (or lack thereof) on dinner, or anything else I do. He frequently tells me that I have the harder job, and that he's so appreciative of everything I do to keep the household running. He isn't the one piling expectations on me; I'm doing it to myself.

It's so easy to see that everything isn't perfect, and interpret that as a direct personal failure. Instead of seeing toys on the floor, I see my failure to keep the room neat. Instead of saying that dinner will be a little late because the meat didn't thaw as quickly as I expected, I say that I failed to plan properly and won't be able to have the meal on the table when the clock displays some arbitrary number. Little Bear isn't having a fussy day; I'm failing to do my job of keeping him happy while accomplishing everything else. And even if I'm at the end of my rope with the child, and the house, and the heat, and freelance deadlines, of course I will encourage my husband to go do something fun with his friends in the evening, because a good wife wouldn't be feeling overwhelmed right now, so I shouldn't ask him to stay home.

When--and how--did the '50s-housewife caricature that modern feminists love to hate become my image of a good wife? Not even a perfect wife, but just good? From the fact that I compare myself at my worst to other women at their best, yes, but I think even more than that, it ultimately comes from the mantra you hear so often among moms--particularly homeschooling moms, it seems--who are so bent on 'doing it right': "Mary is the perfect model of a wife and mother."

What?

Please don't tell me that I should want to be more like Mary. I know that I should be more like Mary; I spent four years at college hearing that at least once a day on campus, I hear it all the time online, and from other moms in person. I tell myself that I need to be more like Mary all. the. time. But Mary was perfect, y'all. Perfect. And I'm not. I am sooooooo far from being perfect... and I think that's where this "good wife" problem comes in:

Being more like Mary is the ultimate goal, but because she's perfect and I am so far from perfect, I need to become a "good" wife and mother before I can aspire to being a "perfect" one. Which means (in my head, mind you) that Mary isn't the right role model right now; she's too far beyond me, too unattainably perfect. I need some intermediate goal, an intermediate role model. Enter the 1950s housewife: cheerful, loving, organized, pretty, a good cook. If the vast majority of women sixty years ago could do it, and I have so many labor-saving devices they didn't (a dishwasher, for crying out loud!), surely there's no reason I can't at least meet that ideal. My mother still does, every single day. And once I've solidly mastered this ideal of a "good wife," I can start working toward being more like the perfect wife, Mary.

But I can't, and I don't understand why, and it frustrates me... while my husband gets frustrated that I'm even trying, when all he wants is to come home to a minimally-chaotic house and a minimally-stressed wife. 

And I'm sure that Mary always had dinner ready on time, too. But maybe her Child didn't spend the hour before Joseph came in for dinner clinging to her knees and fussing...

What Day Is It?

Wow. I feel like I lost a week there... First thing Thursday morning a massive ocular migraine hit, and I'm still feeling it a little bit today. It started with wavy lines of light blocking my vision, and was shortly followed by the most painful headache I've ever had -- I'd heard people talk about something being "painful enough to make you throw up," but I'd always thought it was just a figure of speech. It's definitely not. I spent the day laying in a dark room with my eyes closed, while my mom and siblings, bless them, took care of Little Bear. Looking at screens or other lights for any length of time is still triggering headaches, so this won't be much of a post, but I'm so much better than I was and it's been a week since I last posted...

...and today's our anniversary. Thank you for two wonderful years, Matt! I'm theoretically cleaning the grill this afternoon so that we can throw on some steaks and zucchini, and maybe if we're feeling fancy we will pick up a bottle of wine after Matt gets off work. We aren't very good at making a big deal out of things over here, but that's the way we both like it.

[I would put a photo of the two of us here, but I don't have any... We're also bad at taking photos, apparently.]

 

What I Wore Sunday {25}

Joining everyone for WIWS at Fine Linen and Purple this afternoon! Oh, and today is the last day of Jen's 7 posts in 7 days challenge; what a week it's been.

Planning today's schedule was complicated, and like most things that you try to plan around kids, it didn't really work. Our parish's annual "pignic" (pig roast + picnic) is this afternoon at 2, so we had to find a Mass that A) would let Little Bear get a nap and B) was at a parish we are comfortable attending. B automatically limited us to two, ours and the university parish; our parish is far enough away that driving there twice in one day (going home for his nap) is just too expensive, so we wound up at the university. On paper, it looked perfect: sleep in, 10:30 Mass, home for his nap, 2:00 pignic. 

But then he decided that we weren't sleeping in. And despite being sooooo sleeeeepy that he couldn't sit up nicely during Mass, he continued resisting a nap until 12:30. Best-laid plans, and all that. I guess we will be playing the pignic by ear.

Mass went well, though, and I really can't complain about his behavior; I took him to the back to nurse when he started getting loud during the homily, but we were back with Daddy by the offertory and aside from some soft whining and squirming, he behaved himself for the rest of Mass. Father Sean's homily was great, what I heard before taking Little Bear out, and he had a perfect present-day example of a child talking to his father to relate to the first reading.

Having a longer morning at home than usual was nice, too; I managed to make a fruit salad for the pignic. I call this "what do I have in the fridge? salad with blueberry-poppyseed dressing":

Watermelon and kiwi and bananas, oh my.

So, the outfit.

T-Shirt: thrifted

Eyelet skirt: gift from my mom (thrifted)

Sandals: Payless

Scarf: thrifted

 My mom found this skirt for me at the thrift store several weeks ago and I loved it immediately, but I hadn't worn it yet because I had no idea what to pair it with and was afraid of the wide flouncy-ness... I've put enough work into trying to lose baby weight, I don't even want to look at anything that will make me look bigger than I am! I know that everyone is wearing them these days and that they look good on everyone I've ever seen them on, but it's still so hard to try any new style because I still see myself as overweight and squishy postpartum. But as I was laying in bed this morning trying to decide on a Mass outfit, thinking about this skirt and wishing I was brave enough to try it, I remembered  Sarah's post about skinny jeans the other day. Was I just prejudiced against this style because I "know" it's going to look bad, without even trying it? Yes, yes I was.

So here it is. I quickly scrolled through Pinterest to see how other women style this shape of skirt, and I think I was actually happy with the results! Hopefully I've learned my lesson about fashion prejudice: If there's a style I like on other people, I can't just say, "That's so cute, but I could never pull it off," unless I've actually tried. That's why they have dressing rooms! Trying it on gives me a 50/50 chance of being pleasantly surprised, but just wishing guarantees I'll never wear it.