Losing Wisdom

Don't anyone worry; Matt didn't forget the requisite joke about how I lost all of my wisdom teeth but he still has two. That, I responded, is why he is so good at physics and I am perfectly happy never having taken it.

We arrived at the oral surgeon's clinic shortly before 8 yesterday morning, and poor Little Bear's cries of Mama, Mama! began as soon as I went up to the counter to check in and fill out last-minute paperwork. We'd opted to have him stay in the waiting room with Matt instead of asking someone else to watch him so that we could go straight home after the surgery, and I packed my purse with toys, books, crackers and a cup to keep him distracted. A nurse came out and turned on Tom and Jerry cartoons for him, Matt said, and his first encounter with cartoons seems to have kept him pretty happy! 

He said his first sentence while I was back in surgery, and it made Matt feel so badly for him: "I want Mama!" Aww...

I was taken back to a surgery room and hooked up to five different monitors; I couldn't decide whether it was supposed to scare me with the seriousness of surgery, or comfort me that they took safety so seriously! After the nurse got the IV into my arm (no, I didn't look; what, did you think I was brave or something?) she started a drip of 0.9% saline solution and called in the anesthesiologist. He greeted me and asked if I had any questions, then told me that he was going to start the first medication, asking the nurses for "the orangey-colored one." They laughed, he told me that it would start to take effect in about 30 seconds, and that's the last thing I remember until the nurse was talking to me and trying to get me to wake up.

Matt says they told him that I went out more quickly than they expected, and took longer to wake up; I did answer honestly about my height and weight, galling as that was, so maybe I'm just more sensitive? I'd much rather go to sleep earlier than too late, though! Matt and Little Bear joined me in the room then, or maybe they were there as I woke up? It's fuzzy. I know that the nurse kept telling me that I had to keep my eyes open, and all I wanted to do was go to sleep... Matt tells me that Little Bear kept trying to grab my IV, but I don't even remember it still being in or when they took it out. I do remember the nurse bringing in a wheelchair to take me out to the car once everyone was satisfied that I wasn't going to go unconscious again.

I forced myself to eat a little bit of yogurt and a finely-diced slice of peach, drink some water, and take ibuprofen, then lay down with Little Bear on the crib mattress that Matt dragged out to the living room for us and we both took a good nap. I felt a million times more alert after, but I still felt tired and achey and puffy, and I know that will last several more days. Semiliquid foods are my friends right now: my amazing, wonderful husband made me tapioca pudding for dinner, even though he can't stand the stuff, after the pasta he'd made at the nurse's suggestion wound up being too painful for me to eat! Yogurt and ice cream have worked well too, and if we (or he, if I look like a chipmunk) go to town this afternoon, I may ask for applesauce. I made stewed rhubarb ahead of time, but I'm kind of afraid it will be too acidic... Anyone have any experience with that?

Yes, I should be appalled that I only ate sweetened dairy products yesterday, but somehow it just doesn't seem worth the effort. We'll blame the Vicodin. Vicodin is such a convenient scapegoat... it took the fall for me on several loopy conversations last night, like when we were wondering aloud what horrendous fashion trends we might be subjected to when Little Bear is 16, and solemnly warning the kid that if he shaves his head and gets fiberoptic hair implanted, the government will be able to control his hair color without his consent... Honestly, what if they had the ability to change the hair color of a suspected criminal red and turn everyone else's hair blue? That police chase wouldn't last long. And then hackers would be able to set their enemies up for arrest really easily!

Yep, blame the Vicodin. And my new lack of wisdom. I'm going to take a nap.

Seven Quick Takes, Vol. 37

Linking up as usual with Jen of Conversion Diary!

I

This week's post is going up early because at 7:30 am Friday I'll be on my way in to oral surgery. All four wisdom teeth are coming out; the bottom two are partially erupted but don't have enough room to come farther through, and the top two are impacted and pushing the other molars out of alignment. I'm getting general anesthesia, which has me pretty skittish right now... You're going to stick a big needle in my arm and make me pass out? For over an hour? And I'm supposed to trust that everything will be fine. So, so, very not okay. Pray for me? I know, intellectually, that it's not really a big deal and thousands of people probably get anesthesia every day and are just fine... but that knowledge isn't really helping with the emotional response.

II

Matt is more optimistic than I about the coming weekend and Little Bear... If anyone has suggestions for handling an almost-walker while you're on Vicodin recovering from surgery and anesthesia, I'm all ears!

III

I am well convicted of the folly of my complaining about the heat yesterday... I was effectually saying, "The weather could not be more miserable," and so of course I had to be corrected today. The heat didn't go away, but a dense pall of smoke settled over town last night from a wildland fire an hour or so south of us. A nice breeze picked up mid-morning and eventually dispelled most of the smoke, fortunately: we had planned to go to a pig roast at some friends' house this evening, and wouldn't have been able to if it was too smoky.

IV

We were fortunate to have such a clear June, honestly. Because the snow stayed so long and then melted all at once, everything was saturated longer than we could have reasonably expected, and it's only logical that our past few weeks of abnormally hot weather and constant sun have dried things to the point of wildland fires catching easily. There are currently 99 wildland fires active across the state, and they are catching quickly: 22 were reported yesterday. The fire south of town is still far enough from the highway that it hasn't been closed, but the fire service warns travelers to expect long delays and is providing pilot cars to guide motorists through areas with heavy smoke. 

V

Still, the heavy onset of fire season has been rough; we heard about some of the local fires from our pastor this evening--he also serves as chaplain to the local fire crew and state troopers--and it sounds like they have been working around the clock. He was glad that the borough is banning even the sale of fireworks for the Fourth of July, because with everything so dry, having hundreds of people heading out to lakes in the woods and shooting off fireworks is just asking for trouble! For those who have some fireworks saved up from New Years or last summer, please, wait until we've had a good week of rain... Fireworks are fun, but not fun enough to justify risking our firefighters' lives if the sparks get out of control!

VI

Alaskans aren't the only ones with non traditional names for the seasons, right? I know that some college friends from Michigan referred the warm part of their year as "construction season." You hear that here, too, but the first time the smoke from a wildfire rolls into town, many folks will start referring to summer as "fire season" as well. So in Alaska, we have: Winter, Breakup, Construction/Fire, and Hunting Season. 

VII

On Saturday, we will celebrate the feast of Sts Peter and Paul, a solemnity! It is a holy day of obligation for the universal Church, but is not observed in the United States or Canada (or a number of other countries). I wish we could attend Mass, but I don't know that I'll be physically capable, and none of the parishes in our area celebrate daily Mass on Saturday, only the Sunday Vigil, so it would kind of count but not really. A piece of trivia for you: this solemnity is the day that newly-created archbishops receive their pallium from the pope. The pallium is a band "three fingers wide" woven from white wool which rests on the shoulders on top of the chasuble; it signifies their authority and union with the Holy See. Traditionally, the pallium is only worn for extraordinary events and exclusively during the liturgy.

Have a lovely weekend!

Giving Up

I've tried for weeks, now, everything I can think of, and I just can't do it. I can't. I cannot be a functional human being in this heat. I give up.

We are in our third solid week of 80-95 degree days (at least--my brain has melted and I can't count anymore), in a city where no one has air conditioning because Alaska is supposed to make air conditioning unnecessary. I keep all of the shades closed to block out the sun, run the fan in whichever room we are sprawled on the floor, keep everyone drinking ice water, try not to make the child wear a shirt unless we have to go to town... We stay indoors as much as possible, making one brief daily trip through the sprinkler to the mailbox and back, and the water doesn't even have the decency to be cold. Little Bear cries and cries because he's so sweaty and uncomfortable, and I can't make it better by holding him because that makes both of us even warmer. I'm not cooking, not baking; everything is thrown in the crock pot or on the grill, or just eaten straight out of the freezer. And still the temperature rises... None of us have slept well in weeks, because it is so hot and sticky. I cannot think of anything else to do to make the apartment a live-able temperature... Should I start "decorating" with bowls of ice all over the place? Keep the freezer door open 24/7 (and ignore the electric bill)?

I don't even know what "giving up" means in this situation... but it can't stay like this, it just can't. I need to have enough sanity left to take care of Little Bear and the house while dealing with the pain from having all four wisdom teeth removed on Friday morning, and if I can't even function now, what will happen then?

What I Wore Sunday {20}

Linking up as usual with Fine Linen and Purple for WIWS.

It seems like the longest weekend of the year ought to be at least three days, doesn't it? With the Summer Solstice on Friday, we are at peak sunlight this weekend: the sun technically set at 12:47 this morning and rose at 2:59, but "set" means that the lower edge of the sun scraped along the horizon. To anyone up that late (Little Bear and I!) it just looked like the sun went around in a circle without ever setting. Blackout curtains notwithstanding, the past few nights have never really gotten dark. It is marvelous.

Marvelous, and hot. I learned my lesson last week, and traded in the long sleeves for cap sleeves this morning! Even so, I felt guiltily grateful for Little Bear's fussiness this morning which gave me cause to go out of the packed church and down to the cool basement to feed him. Between Matt and I, we spent at least half of Mass out in the narthex or basement with him... I guess I have to give him a B+ for behavior, since he was still and quiet for the first half in the church proper and any part of the second half when we took him somewhere less hot. I understand, child; I think heat is miserable too.

This morning we had a substitute priest, visiting from the Diocese of Orange, California. I'm glad that our pastor was able to get some help; he usually has four weekend Masses to cover himself, five when the Air Force base doesn't have a Catholic chaplain. And he had to be tired this morning, because he ran in a 10k race that started at 10pm last night (the appropriately-named Midnight Sun Run). 

Don't tell anyone, but today's outfit is actually a repeat from Friday... I wore this to our friends' wedding, loved it, realized that no one who saw me on Friday would see me today, and couldn't resist.

Straw hat: Fred Meyers

Shirt: thrifted

Skirt: Sears

Shoes: borrowed from my sister

Purse: Fred Meyers

Nails (which you probably can't see): Sally Hansen Tough As Nails #310, which is definitely brighter than the nice orangey-pink that it looks like it should be! Be warned :-)

Seven Quick Takes Friday, Vol. 36

Linking up with Jen of ConversionDiary.com for this week's quick takes!

I

After two+ weeks of hot sunny weather, we woke up this morning to rain and low 60s. It's a pleasant change, but I sure do feel badly for complaining about the heat now, because two of our friends are getting married this afternoon and they were hoping for an outdoor reception! It's still early... Hopefully it will clear up and get warm for them.

II

This probably should have come before my grousing about the weather, but will you join me in praying for our friends getting married today, and other friends marrying tomorrow? June sure seems to be the month for weddings! And with the many difficulties newly married couples have to contend with today, they can certainly use our prayers!

III

Thinking about weddings and marriage, this is old and you've probably already seen it, but I just discovered this video of Kimberly Hahn speaking about leadership in marriage and it's very good--It certainly made me consider how we live leadership in our family.

IV

Yesterday morning as I was running around the grocery store, I fell prey to marketing. "Only $1.99!" the bright yellow sign screamed. $1.99 for what? I wondered, heading over and noticing the rows upon rows of brightly-colored vials. Ah... nail polish. Wouldn't that be fun? I could have pretty nails for the wedding tomorrow... Mom and my sisters have had such fun nails recently... Before I knew it, I'd talked myself into putting a bottle in the cart. Me, the one who hasn't had her nails painted in goodness knows how long--Matt has never seen me wear nail polish, even when we were dating! I certainly didn't do anything with them for our wedding... But I guess you never forget how to paint your nails, right?

V

Not only can you forget how to paint your nails (or at least, paint them more neatly than a third-grader), but you can also definitely forget how badly those color swatch charts lie in purporting to illustrate what color your nails will turn out. I'm planning to wear a flowery blouse in pinks, oranges, and a rich plum purple, and the nail polish I picked up declared itself a shimmering orangey-pink. Perfect! Then I got home, painted my nails distractedly while playing ball with Little Bear, held up my drying nails to admire them... and stared in horror at my hot pink sparkly fingers. And toes. I look like my five-year-old sister picked out my nail polish. And since I haven't painted my nails in eons, what don't I own? That's right; nail polish remover.

VI

I slipped out to the front step this morning while Little Bear was playing with trucks to plant two basil plants, naively hoping that he wouldn't notice for the whole two minutes that I'd be outside. When will I learn? I don't think I even had the plants out of the 6-pack before he was standing at the door, banging on the glass and yelling for me to let him come play in the dirt with me. Being the loving mother that I am, I held the storm door closed with my knee while stuffing the poor basil plants into the pot and trying to convince him to sit down or crawl away from the door. It took a good five minutes to get him to take his weight off the door so I could open it without him falling out. Teaching your children to walk is so overrated...

VII

Physical therapy for my shoulder seems to be going well--it's actually helping, which honestly surprised me since it's been this way for so long that it feels normal. The tentative diagnosis is multidirectional instability (MDI), which has a 90% complete correction rate with six months of physical therapy. So that's good news. Unfortunately, it doesn't provide any immediate answers about my hip, because MDI is specifically atraumatic instability of the shoulder, but it does offer hope that strengthening muscles in my hip would help reduce that pain.

Have a lovely weekend!

Breakfast of Champions

Champion whats? No idea.

Now I have always been a die-hard "vanilla is the best ice cream ever" girl, but last night, we discovered Kroger's Deluxe Triple Brownie. 

Oh my word. 

Vanilla, you have been replaced.

Ripples of fudge and chewy chunks of brownie swirl through chocolate ice cream... But not chocolate chocolate ice cream: it's not too heavy, not too densely chocolate. A very pastel brown, a light milk chocolate flavor. This is amazing and delicious and the best possible antidote to a humid 93-degree day in a city without air conditioning. Because honestly, what else can you eat in such miserable temperatures?

In related news, nothing is getting turned on in our apartment today as I attempt to ruthlessly cut out even the smallest heat emissions: no lights, no appliances, nothing. I will throw some sausages on the grill for dinner, but I'm not sure what we will eat with them because I'm not boiling water in my kitchen for rice or pasta, and I'm definitely not firing up the oven for bread or potatoes! 

Thoughts on Marriage

This weekend, several pairs of our good friends will celebrate the Sacrament of Matrimony. We are so happy for them, and excited that the number of Catholic married couples our age that we know will be doubling! As they've gotten close to the wedding date, though, it seems that more people have been discouraging than supporting these couples. I don't know if any of them will see this, but even if not, I want to get my thoughts in order in case I have a chance to say something to one of the naysayers.

---

Congratulations!

Matt and I are so very happy for you, and we hope you will let us know if there is anything at all we can do to help you. I'm sure you already know this (or we wouldn't be here), but being married is pretty great... Our first two years have been so full of unexpected joys and opportunities to grow, and I can't wait to watch you experience it for yourselves. I know that you've been hearing a lot of "why don't you just wait another year" recently, a lot of "it would be better if..."  And I know that you have put many months of prayer and discernment into getting to where you are today, and believe that you're doing the right thing, but I know too how disheartening those voices can be, so I wanted to add my voice and tell you: They are wrong. 

Waiting until you finish school will not give you a better marriage. Waiting until you both have professional jobs will not give you a better marriage. Waiting until you can afford the down payment on a house, or until you have $X in the bank, or until you are settled in the city where you want to live permanently will not give you a better marriage. There is only one thing that will give you a better marriage, and that is doing what God is calling you to.

People look at the painfully high divorce rate in our country, and worry about young couples rushing into marriage unprepared. They think they are being helpful by urging young couples to wait until they are older and more financially stable to marry. I know--we received many of the same comments you are getting during our engagement. The company Matt worked for folded a week after he proposed, and many people felt very strongly that he should go back to school for two years to get his Master's before marrying. Would it have hurt us to wait two more years? You've probably heard variations on this question yourselves, but I don't think that it is the right question to be asking. Was waiting two more years what God was asking of us? No, I don't believe that it was, and I trust that it's not what He is asking of you.

For some couples, I'm sure that waiting is the right response to God's plan for them, but that doesn't make it the right response for everyone. The Church needs more couples like you, solidly Catholic, well-prepared, willing to trust God and show others by your example that getting married young can be a part of God's plan. Will it be easy? Maybe, maybe not. God certainly could make it easy for you, but He may have something more challenging in mind to give you the opportunity to grow together through shared trials. Would waiting make marriage easier? Maybe, maybe not. No one can know what will happen over the next few years. But even if it was guaranteed to make marriage easier, simply choosing the easiest option is not a mark of true discernment; frequently, what God asks of us is not easy!

Listen to where God is calling you, and follow Him even when it's not easy. I said before that marriage is pretty great, but that definitely doesn't mean that the last two years have been a cake walk. It is worth it, though; I promise. Rely on God first, then each other, then the rest of us--even the naysayers do want what is best for you, although I know it doesn't always feel that way.

We are so happy for you, and so glad to be able to be here to support you as you begin your married life together! You have our prayers, and anything else we can do to help.

God bless you!